The Candle Police

Originally posted October 10, 2025

As a kid, I was taught to finish what you start. 

Girl Scouts, piano lessons, even books I didn’t like — I stuck with them far longer than joy required. The idea was noble: follow through, build character. But it also bred a quiet kind of perfectionism.

Now I can’t read multiple books at once. I won’t start a new one until I finish the old — even if the old one bores me to tears. Same goes for candles. I’ll only burn one scent at a time, as if some scented-wax tribunal is keeping score.

The other day, though, I rebelled. It was a crisp fall afternoon, and a Honeycrisp Apple candle caught my eye at Trader Joe’s. When I got home, I realized I already had a Ginger Citrus candle burning. I almost put the apple candle away “for later.” Then I stopped. Was I really doing this again?

So I tucked the ginger candle into the closet, lit the apple one, and instantly felt the shift — not just in scent, but in spirit. A tiny act of rebellion against unnecessary rules.

In this week’s episode, Alexandra Beller and I talk about exactly that — the quiet tyranny of “should.” How perfectionism, discipline, and fear of doing it “wrong” can drain the joy out of creativity. Alexandra shares how she learned to make art from where she is, not where she thinks she should be.

It’s a conversation about following curiosity, forgiving inconsistency, and rediscovering your creative juiciness — whether that means dancing, writing, or lighting whichever candle you damn well please.

🎧 Listen to “Rediscovering Your Creative Juiciness with Alexandra Beller”

Part of our Tools in the Toolbox series on managing anxiety and nurturing creativity for artists.

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– Allison and the A&A team